FORGIVENESS...

 

 

Friday night I was sitting at my kitchen table drinking tea and watching Grimm. Suddenly the phone rings and an unfamiliar number flashes across my television screen. Now usually I don't answer numbers, I don't recognize but this time I felt God telling me to answer the phone; so I did. It was my Uncle Harold, Mommy's brother! "Hey Niecey!" It's so funny, because my family knows I NEVER like to answer my phone, for reasons I truly won't get into right now, because most of them know why, they just refuse to acknowledge their actions or behaviors. I have gone through a lot of changes in my life and the one thing I despise about people is how they "label" you when they feel accountable or responsible for how YOU REACT TOWARD THEM! Folks stay calling me CRAZY because I react off the their vibe...PERIOD. Call me everything in the book, but slow, stupid and naïve, ain't none of those titles claimed over here. I may talk a lot, entertain people with jokes, quick wit and unbelievable statements; but that's because there's a strategic method to my madness. While folks think I'm stupid, in the first five minutes of a conversation I know whether or not you're genuine or tolerant of me or my attitude and sad to say "I DON'T CARE!"

Anyway, this is about my Uncle and our conversation. He just showed up one Friday Night to see me and he always cries when we talk. After that Friday, I hadn't seen him for about a month and I feel so bad for him at times, because he & Mommy had a really hard life with our family. But he is my Uncle & I do LOVE HIM VERY MUCH! He has always been the epitome of an UNCLE & what GENUINE LOVE FROM AN UNCLE REPS! As we spoke, he began to cry and talk about my entrance into the world, something he always does. How BAD I was as a little girl and how much I resemble and act like my Grandmother. Yet this time, he referred back to the situation with my children and the ACS case my "sister" brought against me and he said I couldn't stop thinking about how you must feel, and I AM SORRY YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH SOME OF THE THINGS YOU'VE GONE THROUGH...PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR NOT BEING THERE FOR YOU THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE!" My uncle went on to say so much more, but few words were A COMFORT to my soul. Because NOT ONE PERSON IN MY FAMILY HAS EVER APOLOGIZED OR SHOWN TRUE CONCERN ABOUT MY STRUGGLES. WHICH WHY I DON'T ANSWER MY PHONE! I don't need people calling me to get "THE TEA" on my personal business and ask me if I can ever speak to my sister who has RUINED MY DAMN CHILDREN! ARE YOU SERIOUS? I HAVE FORGIVEN HER, BUT THERE NEVER BE A CONVERSATION BETWEEN US AGAIN. YOU DON'T LIE THE WAY SHE HAS AND DESTORY THE INVESTMENT I MADE IN MY CHILDREN'S LIVES AND EXPECT ME TO EVER BREAK BREAD WITH YOU OR BE IN THE SAME SPACE WITH YOU AGAIN. SHE IS DEAD TO ME, BECAUSE, SHE RUINED MY FAMILY! I've learned that STRANGERS ACT BETTER THAN FAMILY & FRIENDS YOU'VE BEEN AROUND FOR YEARS. AND I WILL NOT PLAY "DUMB" TO THEIR CALLOUSNESS OR PHONY ATTITUDES, BECAUSE IT DOESN'T AFFECT THEM OR THEIR LIVES!

I watched my Grandmother and Mother RUN BEHIND PEOPLE and I made up mind many years ago...NOT ZANEE'!!! I WILL NOT KISS ASS OR KOW TOW TO PEOPLE OR CATER TO FAKENESS! My mother always was running to somebody's rescue; tending to the sick and infirmed. Yet when she took sick, the most unlikely people and strangers stepped FORWARD and I HONOR THEM TODAY! But I just want to THANK GOD MY UNCLE CALLED ME TO APOLOGIZE TO ME, I CRIED LATER ABOUT IT; because I will go to WAR for my FAMILY but I learned they didn't see the need go to WAR FOR ME! So with that being said, GOD DOES WORK ON PEOPLE'S HEARTS AND THAT'S PART RENEWAL OF MY FAITH and I NEED TO TAKE NOTES FROM MY UNCLE...