The first time I watched Beyoncé sing this song, I got a lump in my chest so tight. I saw my whole life FLASH before me! For some strange reason, I knew the one person I truly loved, would never be with me and I was right. Beyoncé put so much emotion into that song and those tears looked as real as they come; she was definitely singing about me. I am a firm believer in allowing men to be free to choose who they want to be with and if it's not you, LET HIM GO! As young as I was, the first and only time I fell in love, I always gave "HIM" freedom to do "HIM." But one thing about "HIM" was whenever it was our time, it was OUR TIME! I didn't understand then, but I appreciate it now. I spent a lot of my young years crying and stressing over him and waiting for closure I knew would NEVER COME! I wrote countless letters, sent him cards and refused to sleep with other guys or take anyone else seriously, I loved him and he NEVER REALIZED THE EFFECT HE HAD ON ME! The wags stayed wagging and the streets were always talking. Chicks tried to befriend me to talk about the sordid stories and tales of his shenanigans with other girls; but my mother schooled me along time ago and said "Zanee' HE IS TOO YOUNG to settle down right now. You better develop some patience and LET HIM LIVE HIS LIFE!" Mommy was right and I backed off. I didn't contact him unless he called me. But at times, I'd write him when I just wanted to see how "HE" was. Time just went by and a lot of bad things happened between us and I grew increasingly resentful and angry with him.
One night, I asked God to tell me if we'd ever have a future...well the dream told me what I need to know! It was hard for me to accept, but I had to go on with my life and live it the best way I could. He spent years in and out of my life, but we never seemed to get it right. I never understood it, because I NEVER LOVED ANY ONE AS MUCH AS I LOVED HIM!
I've been married, had crushes and four children been in a long term relationship, but I have never felt fulfilled in my life and NEVER fell in love again.
It's amazing, because all these women who spend their time thinking I am hung up on my right now and past situations, don't HAVE A CLUE! I am so real about it, LUCAS KNOWS HOW I FEEL and I PULL NO PUNCHES with him! NO...U R NOT THE ONE #SORRY#!
One day Lucas tried to insult me and say "If he LOVED YOU SO MUCH WHY DONT HE LEAVE HIS SITUATION AND GET WITH YOU!?!" My initial reaction was "WOW!" But then I said "Two people with a history, set BOUNDARIES and they RESPECT them and have MATURED enough to know if something starts off WRONG, IT WILL END WRONG! Unlike you and your trifling "FRIEND," I have an UNDYING RESPECT AND LOVE FOR HIM, enough to LET HIM BE FREE AND HAPPY IN HIS MARRIAGE! Not cause TROUBLE because I am an EMPTY, MISERABLE, MORALLY BANKRUPT SKANK! When you truly LOVE SOMEONE, you put their happiness first and leave them alone...YOU DONT DISRUPT THEIR FAMILY BECAUSE OF YOUR SELFISH MOTIVES! But I forgot the caliber of TRASHY women you've dealt with...you wouldn't know anything about that!
LOVE IS PATIENT, KIND, NEVER ENDING and IT'S REAL! IF SOMEONE TRULY LOVES YOU, THEY ALLOW YOU TO LOVE WHO YOU WANT, EVEN IF IT'S NOT THEM!
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