I am a writer and I LOVE TO WRITE. I don't proclaim to be an English scholar nor am I able to write the great American novel. But I do love to write and express myself. I tend to say what ever comes to mind which often gets me in a ish load of trouble; I call it "Tourette's Syndrome"' of the mouth. One thing about me though; is I am no liar, I am honest, won't sugar coat anything and never saw the need for DISHONESTY!
I am good at telling the truth and forcing others to face their OWN truths; but I've never been able to face my OWN truths. I always pretended to have all the answers for everyone else, but none for myself. The truth is I was lost and had absolutely no direction for my own life and was confused about where I was going.
In school we had no real exposure about what career paths to embark on or to take. If you weren't encouraged to become a nurse or a teacher, there seemed to be no encouragement in pursuing any career at all. So I spent my life wearing a variety of hats; from a hairstylist, to becoming teacher and Dean at a high school, and lastly an HRA caseworker. Urgggh, and the list goes on. But in all true honesty, I WAS NEVER HAPPY! My heart was in every place but, my "jobs!" Notice I didn't say career, because there is a distinct difference. The one thing I have always been good at was accompanying my friends and family on shopping excursions. I was the "go to" girl when it came down to what to wear or what new style was trending. I had talent and didn't even know it. Because no one was there to encourage, inspire or cultivate the drive in me. There was even a time I could "predict" what style would be on the "comeback" and I still can!
My first experience with being a "stylist" was when I accompanied my (then best friend) Leslie to Jamaica Avenue to Tick Tock for a back to school wardrobe. Leslie and I had met during my transfer from Far Rockaway High School to Beach Channel. Although we ran in different circles, we met through mutual a friend; named Eric. Leslie spent a lot of time hanging out with the Puerto Rican Clique. They wore leggings, oversized sized socks and clunky Reeboks'. Green and pink lipsticks with other gaudy colors, not to mention oversized faux oversized Benetton sweaters. The Jheri curls and sneakers did nothing for my new found friend. Not meant offensively, but there was a distinction between the way Black girls dressed and the way Puerto Rican girls dressed. I am in no way discrediting my Latina sisters, but they weren't really into fashion the way African American girls were.
I was the new girl in town & I was known for my style of dress. Religious reasons prohibited me from wearing pants, but believe me I was cleaner than the board of health. Silk blouses, leather suits, Coca Cola sweaters, Benetton, a menagerie of leather jackets in many colors, suede shoes to match my suede fronts along with sheepskin coats and hats. My hair was always hooked, neatly coiffed and styled to perfection. I NEVER LEFT MY HOUSE WITH A HAIR OUT OF PLACE. The scent of perfume reached my destination before I got there.
I loved clothes and had passion for fashion. In my young teenage world, looking good meant a lot. I owned a style that was all mine. Displaying an eclectic mix of class and modernism. Because of that, I was a mini FASHIONISTA at sixteen years old. I read the "BIBLES" of fashion; from Essence, Vogue, Elle, Vanity Fair to Cosmopolitan and Ebony. I LIVED in the KNOW! I knew who Adrienne Vitadini was and knew Donna Karan had a section in Macy's during the eighties, that was empty. Because Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger RULED! Donna who? No disrespect, I LOVE HER as a designer and now a philanthropist bringing about world change. But yes, I was that young girl, who admired the skin of the world's (then) most BEAUTIFUL models. It was because of them, that I began to take extra care of my skin. I too, wanted FLAWLESS, PORCLEIN SKIN! This is the one thing, models do posses, is BEAUTIFUL SKIN even WITHOUT TONS OF MAKE UP & I OBSESSED MYSELF WITH ACQUIRING THAT!
So that summer when Leslie asked me to go shopping with her, I felt honored
and never thought in a million years women and men would be paid and lucrative paid to dress the stars.
During the nineties, I was livid when I realized Misa Hylton styled Jodeci and many other entertainment acts and was paid for it. I LOVE & ADMIRE HER; but felt disappointed because what she was doing, I didn't know I was doing, but she WAS PAID for doing it! Years went by and I resigned my life to working a nine to five job. Graduated from college, began applying to numerous grad programs, but was still LOST and UNHAPPY! I had no idea how to break into the industry and become a stylist. With a disgruntled and heavy heart, I became everything but what I wanted to become...a STYLIST! Work became work for and all I did was follow the lives of people in the beauty and fashion industries. By the time Y2K rolled around, women began blogging about everything I had interests in: clothing, fashion trends, designers, models, any and everything beauty or fashion related. All of a sudden, I was OBSESSED; but STILL had no idea of what path to follow or take. I was creative and wanted desperately to change my life and FOLLOW MY PASSION.
Right now, I am under reconstruction! I'm in the process of REBUILDING, RESTRUCTURING AND CREATING A NEW BRAND OF ME! I have no idea where to go or what to do...but I am so TIRED of BEING HAPPY FOR OTHERS & NOT MYSELF! THE TEARS I CRY FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE COURAGE TO BUILD AND FUFILL THEIR DREAMS, BUILD THEIR BRAND AND ESTABLISH CAREERS...ARE GENUINE & I WANT TO FULFULL MY DREAMS TOO! AND IF GOD WILLS IT...I'M GOING TO CLAIM IT, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT WORK TO FEEL LIKE WORK ANYMORE!
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