Paris seems like a dream now, a distant memory. I will go, but it will be without Mommy. My trip won't be the same without her, she was my BEST FRIEND and there is nothing I wanted more than to dine atop the Eiffel Tower with Mommy. Yeah I know Paris is for lovers, but anyway...my mother and I share LOVE of similar things. Fancy, Fancy, Fancy! She taught me how to dress, how to be an individual, not follow the crowd and develop a style all my own. Mommy was a classy woman and it was reflected in her taste. She was the quintessential Southern Belle; didn't speak above a certain tone, never yelled, screamed or lost her temper and could silence the most belligerent person with a look. It was she who told me I was too loud, crass and crude. I used to laugh at her a lot, but as I grew older I realized she was right...but it was my personality, I was embracing and I LOVE BEING ME!
I may not be as reserved as the average girl, because I am vivacious and full of life. Laughter is my medicine although I seem miserable to some, it is because I present my TRUE SELF TO PEOPLE I FEEL LIKE ARE TRUE TO ME! Kissing ass is not one of my attributes, I'm not going to play up to anyone for their approval, acceptance, or for them to "LIKE" me. If you cant take me as I am, you'll get nothing at all..."Mary J. Blige was on to something with that song!" As I get older, I realize my destiny has been compromised. By the choices I made in friends, men and even my family...Life has been no crystal stair and for much of my life I definitely viewed the world through rose colored glasses. After Mommy died, I had a mental break down and as 'OKAY" as I may seem, I'm not. The world and the people in it are cold and selfish. I feel like a paranoid schizophrenic half the time, because I don't trust anybody.
People seem to harbor resentment toward me, because I'm not as stupid as they think I am or want me to be. I've been giving the wrong people too much credit for too long. While they're doing nothing in my life, except stressing me out and getting mad because I no longer want to be bothered.
I just want to live my life, travel and see the world. There's no time in my life for meaningless conversation or nosey people; who just want to get in your business and stab you in the back. All I want to do is enjoy life and meet new people from different places. I am so over everyone and every thing...I want to lie across a glass floor and stare at exotic fish floating by under a bungalow in Bora Bora. Sit on the coasts of Amalfi and Capri, Italy drinking a lemon Bellini and eating fresh made pasta! Then hit St. Tropez and Monaco and shop till I drop at their prestigious boutiques and then sit on a bridge and soak up the sun. Hit Dubai and ride a camel and get sun burned in the hot desert sun. Roam through the most elite an expensive hotels and leave when I'm good and ready.
I even want to see St. Petersburg in Russia when it's freezing, so I can buy one of those huge Russian Fur Hats and a Sable fur coat; because it may be cheaper over there. Then when I'm done, I will jet set back to Santorini, Greece and eat fresh Baklava or Honey and yogurt with fruit. Sit on their coast line and eat fresh calamari! London, Africa and so many other places are on my list; I just want an opportunity to go. We all have one life to live and I want to enjoy mine, minus people and strife!
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