Why is timing and life so complicated? Why do I have to realize after all these years I've NEVER given myself fully to a man? There has always been something inside holding me back, I never fully gave myself to anyone, but now I think I'm ready. There are too many reasons why I can't and I'm not happy about it.
I was alright until one hot day Downtown Brooklyn. I'd gone up to my school to take care of some business and decided to walk Court Street to buy me some frozen yogurt.
Out of no where, I can feel someone approaching me and of course I throw my hand up in disgust, because I NEVER want to be bothered with men and their cat calls, compliments and bull ish!
This time it was different. As alert as I am, I didn't even see him approaching me. My peripheral vision is on point. I can peep game a mile away and cross the street if a man's eye's linger on me longer than ten seconds. Because I don't have the desire to be bothered with a whole bunch of wasted lingo about nothing. Therefore I have the tendency to cut a ninja off at the neck before he starts with his rendition of "GAME!" Save it, cause I'm the "COACH" and I 've earned my stripes, go earn yours some where else.
Anyway, his approach was so different. Unlike any approach I'd ever seen in a long time.
First of all, I didn't even see him walk up to me, didn't peep him watching me from a distance, none of that. For the first time, I was totally caught off guard. Being me, I did my best to discourage him, but it didn't seem to phase him one bit. I was a little snippy and sarcastic, he didn't mind. I insulted him, referring to him as cute. He calmly looked me and told me I'm a lot of things, but you referring to me as "cute" isn't going to stop me from talking to you, so I'll be "cute" if you want me to be. No matter what I said, I couldn't shake him or break his constitution.
He has so many things most of these grown men lack today and that's patience! As much as I tried to discourage him, he kept walking with me, pursuing me relentlessly. After awhile I found him interesting and intriguing. I was so impressed that as young as he was, nothing I said seemed to rattle him. In fact, he had such a calmness and he was so centered. His demeanor was one of I have a lot of patience and you don't need to worry about me getting tired of your refusal, it's my motivation.
We sat and talked for a long time and not one time did he mention anything about sex. All he did was reiterate his desire to take me out to dinner, no matter how much I denied him, the more he said, "Let Me SHOW You!"
Right there I became interested. Most men are so shallow and these younger guys have more under the cap, than these old fools. I'm not kidding either. Every time I think about him, I wonder if it was fate for us to run into each other. Maybe it was.
I'm not into May December relationships, but I know one thing, it takes a lot for a man to get my attention and hold it...I get bored real easy and fast. Well I'm definitely impressed with my new friend and especially the fact he's not thirsty or running around like a dog in heat after my ass.
I knew this when he called me three weeks after our initial meeting.
I know a lot of old heads who need to take notes from these younger men. Because he definitely informed me, he was in no rush with me. Of course, because he has had his share of women, young and older...confessing to me he likes older women because they don't offer too much drama!
We definitely had a nice long talk and I found him to be mysterious and interesting enough to give my cell number to. Three weeks went by and from time to time I thought of him. One night he calls me from work, the number comes up ANONYMUS and I answer brashly. His calm centered demeanor affects me instantly, I calm down too, because I LOVE HIS VOICE! He was at work, "I just called to check up you and see how you were doing! We talked all of twenty minutes and hung up. Translation: I'm not going to let you forget me, I'm not ready for you yet, but you are a keeper! I smiled to myself and thought I mean something...sometimes that's all you need. To be able to leave an impression on a man that if he thought about "playing you" something about you changes his mind and he decides to keep you around. Be it as a friend and on reserve for the future, it's for the better. Patience is key and time is on my side! I have no idea where this might end up, but I know one thing, I feel safe and I haven't felt like that with a man in years. There's just something about him and I have a feeling we're going to become very good friends if nothing else. I just wish God would send me a HUSBAND I CAN FEEL SAFE WITH LIKE THAT!
How can you meet a man and feel such a connection so soon? I don't know what I feel, but I LOVE HOW CALM HE IS! I am a whirlwind of energy and I'm all over the place. I need someone who is calm, centered, strong and safe. He's all of those and then some. I can see the patience in him and there's something deep in those eyes, I don't know what but I want to find out.
Why does timing have to be so off?
I was alright until one hot day Downtown Brooklyn. I'd gone up to my school to take care of some business and decided to walk Court Street to buy me some frozen yogurt.
Out of no where, I can feel someone approaching me and of course I throw my hand up in disgust, because I NEVER want to be bothered with men and their cat calls, compliments and bull ish!
This time it was different. As alert as I am, I didn't even see him approaching me. My peripheral vision is on point. I can peep game a mile away and cross the street if a man's eye's linger on me longer than ten seconds. Because I don't have the desire to be bothered with a whole bunch of wasted lingo about nothing. Therefore I have the tendency to cut a ninja off at the neck before he starts with his rendition of "GAME!" Save it, cause I'm the "COACH" and I 've earned my stripes, go earn yours some where else.
Anyway, his approach was so different. Unlike any approach I'd ever seen in a long time.
First of all, I didn't even see him walk up to me, didn't peep him watching me from a distance, none of that. For the first time, I was totally caught off guard. Being me, I did my best to discourage him, but it didn't seem to phase him one bit. I was a little snippy and sarcastic, he didn't mind. I insulted him, referring to him as cute. He calmly looked me and told me I'm a lot of things, but you referring to me as "cute" isn't going to stop me from talking to you, so I'll be "cute" if you want me to be. No matter what I said, I couldn't shake him or break his constitution.
He has so many things most of these grown men lack today and that's patience! As much as I tried to discourage him, he kept walking with me, pursuing me relentlessly. After awhile I found him interesting and intriguing. I was so impressed that as young as he was, nothing I said seemed to rattle him. In fact, he had such a calmness and he was so centered. His demeanor was one of I have a lot of patience and you don't need to worry about me getting tired of your refusal, it's my motivation.
We sat and talked for a long time and not one time did he mention anything about sex. All he did was reiterate his desire to take me out to dinner, no matter how much I denied him, the more he said, "Let Me SHOW You!"
Right there I became interested. Most men are so shallow and these younger guys have more under the cap, than these old fools. I'm not kidding either. Every time I think about him, I wonder if it was fate for us to run into each other. Maybe it was.
I'm not into May December relationships, but I know one thing, it takes a lot for a man to get my attention and hold it...I get bored real easy and fast. Well I'm definitely impressed with my new friend and especially the fact he's not thirsty or running around like a dog in heat after my ass.
I knew this when he called me three weeks after our initial meeting.
I know a lot of old heads who need to take notes from these younger men. Because he definitely informed me, he was in no rush with me. Of course, because he has had his share of women, young and older...confessing to me he likes older women because they don't offer too much drama!
We definitely had a nice long talk and I found him to be mysterious and interesting enough to give my cell number to. Three weeks went by and from time to time I thought of him. One night he calls me from work, the number comes up ANONYMUS and I answer brashly. His calm centered demeanor affects me instantly, I calm down too, because I LOVE HIS VOICE! He was at work, "I just called to check up you and see how you were doing! We talked all of twenty minutes and hung up. Translation: I'm not going to let you forget me, I'm not ready for you yet, but you are a keeper! I smiled to myself and thought I mean something...sometimes that's all you need. To be able to leave an impression on a man that if he thought about "playing you" something about you changes his mind and he decides to keep you around. Be it as a friend and on reserve for the future, it's for the better. Patience is key and time is on my side! I have no idea where this might end up, but I know one thing, I feel safe and I haven't felt like that with a man in years. There's just something about him and I have a feeling we're going to become very good friends if nothing else. I just wish God would send me a HUSBAND I CAN FEEL SAFE WITH LIKE THAT!
How can you meet a man and feel such a connection so soon? I don't know what I feel, but I LOVE HOW CALM HE IS! I am a whirlwind of energy and I'm all over the place. I need someone who is calm, centered, strong and safe. He's all of those and then some. I can see the patience in him and there's something deep in those eyes, I don't know what but I want to find out.
Why does timing have to be so off?
No comments:
Post a Comment