Growing up in the Seventies, wasn't easy for us young black girls. In fact no era ever was. If you weren't light skinned, with long "good" hair...you were ugly! If you were overweight and a vision of 'Precious," you could forget about even being acknowledged!
In my opinion, I was average. A red caramel complexion, dirty red hair, short and just plain average looking. And like other young girls, I longed to at least be light skinned. It wasn't till after I grew up, could I appreciate my exotic red skin and red hair. I didn't realize I was beautiful along.
Women are amazing and we are our own worse enemy. We judge each other by looks; the color of our skin, grade of our hair and what we wear. Petty girls, who grow up to become petty women. It took me years to feel as if I belonged where I grew up; yet whenever I went other places I made friends with every one and always received a WARM GENUINE WELCOME! If I were to honestly say I had a great childhood out in the Rockaways, I'd be lying. But if you ask me who accepted me for who I am, it would be my old friends from South Ozone Park, Long Island and Uptown in Harlem. I am totally not a fan of the shallow people I grew up with, well some of them.
So today, I am extremely cautious of the women I've once referred to as "friends." The ones who I've fought and gone to war for, have picked up with the very females who whipped their asses and now they're the best of friends. When I see this, I feel bad for even protecting them and getting into confrontations defending their honor. Now, instead of talking to who I've defended, I speak to the person I feel guilty defending these broads for. Why did I even take the time to defend a set of fake ass bitches who had no loyalty to themselves, let alone me? Now everyone wants to "pretend" they're "BESTIES," and wondering why you refuse to let them into our life and very personal space. Wondering why we can't go out to Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch...let alone Dinner? Really? Ask yourself why you should be trusted and I'm sure you still won't see your own mess! If I could turn back the hands of time I promise you I would've allowed a lot of these broads to get them ass whippins they deserved!
We know we can't go back in time now can we? But I do know this, I am MY OWN BESTIE and I REALLY DON'T TRUST WOMEN AT ALL...I am good being alone. Not competing with myself, my secrets stay my secrets and I have no petty jealousies to contend with! I am disgusted with the way women behave today and know people despise me because I am "standoffish and anti-social!"
During my latter twenties, Mommy became my BESTIE! I could count on her and TRUST HER WITH MY LIFE...I can't say the same about my "so called FRIENDS and ASSOCIATES!"
My mother always told me, "if you've got one good friend, you've got a good thing" and she was right! What's sad is my GOOD FRIEND IS DEAD and I know for a fact, I will NEVER have a friend like her again. With all I'm going through in my life, I hate to say it but, Lucas has been the only person I don't have to worry about discussing my business with people in the neighborhood or from my past...I guess he just tells my business to his current girlfriend or baby's momma! And that's fine with me. I don't know them and never will, so it doesn't matter. The sad part about my friendship with Lucas is his BETRAYAL, so who do you TRUST? GOD and BEN FRANKLIN, two people who will NEVER LET YOU DOWN! All I know is the broads I've known and grown up with have been the biggest disappointment to date...let alone the broads I've met in recent years. Who expect you to TRUST THEM and you haven't even known them long enough for them to BETRAY YOU and they have! Will I ever trust anyone again in this life? Only time will tell. But I can tell you one thing, LOYALTY IS EVERYTHING TO ME and once you've VIOLATED THAT TRUST I AM DONE WITH YOU! And let's just LEAVE IT AT THAT...
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