I LOVE THESE WOMEN AND LOVE THEIR GRIND! I relate to them in many ways. They are also a terrible reminder of how I've sold myself short in this lifetime, deferring my dreams. When I think of how many God tried to deliver me out of "BABYLON," I fought to stay. Babylon being a metaphor for the "HOOD", the LIFE and the WRONG PEOPLE! I always wanted more than the average friend I had or hung around. With no disrespect to them, they never wanted more than to hang out in Far Rockaway or on JAMAICA AVENUE! Me, I loved New York City, and would end up there every chance I could. But I wasn't MOTIVATED enough to DISTANCE myself from the friends and I and make NEW ONES!
The first time God tried to rescue me from a mundane life of poverty was in 1988, when a good friend of my mothers' hired me as a Resource Librarian at Mancini-Duffy Interior Design Firm. I was seventeen years old, making over five hundred dollars a week and I felt like I was on top of the world!
Liz, my mother's friend, was a graduate of the prestigious Pratt University in Brooklyn. Liz was a young white girl from Maine and she LOVED BLACK PEOPLE, COLLARD GREENS and most of all, SHE LOVED MY FAMILY! We welcomed her with LOVE and OPEN ARMS. I feel honored now to realize the potential Liz saw in me when I didn't see it in myself. Which has been the story of my life. I never thought much of my talents or used them. I was the only African American little girl working at a prestigious design firm full of wealthy white folks, making over twenty thousand dollars at seventeen and didn't realize I had a way out and blew it by deciding to remain STAGNANT and eventually pursue a career in doing hair. I could see if I were aspiring to be a stylist to the stars, but my goal was Jamaica Avenue...WHY?
Chances, Chances, Chances! Why did I throw my life to quicksand? Being young and stupid is my answer, without any excuses. I just ran with the wrong people from day one. While their thoughts were on clothes, Sunrise movie theatre, the next heartbreak and Jamaica Avenue; I secretly read Town and Country Magazine, went into to all the upscale stores in the city and wanted desperately to TRAVEL THE WORLD! While they discussed Corning Ware dishes, my firm had an account with Villeroy and Bach Fine Dining Ware. To them Levitz and Seaman's were furniture stores, while I knew how to organize a presentation board with high end furniture and swatches for CBS television offices, banks and those furniture giants corporate offices.
How did I fall from the path of greatness? I went from rubbing shoulders with multi million dollar exec's to doing hair on Jamaica Avenue. A sad travesty and lazy way of living. Eventually, I did attend and graduate from college, but I never distanced myself from the mediocrity of my limited minded peers. My sister went to college and I encouraged her to become a Delta, she did and is quite successful! Although we didn't see eye to eye concerning my lifestyle and choice of friends, she invited me into her "circle" of successful friends who were also Delta's. They embraced me as one of their own, right away and rooted for me to join the sisterhood of Delta Sigma Theta Inc. For years, I was at each and every function they had. When I was around them, I felt a sense of empowerment and engulfed in GREATNESS!
That was my second chance at SUCCESS. Because when you surround yourself with MOVERS and SHAKERS, you have no choice but to SUCCEED! Well let's just say, I had the opportunity to join Delta Sigma Theta in 1997, when Fordham University had a line that spring. I opted out for reasons I won't discuss, and I'll leave it at that! My sister's Sorors were the most BEAUTIFUL, TALENT AND DRIVEN WOMEN I"D EVER MET and they WELCOMED ME WITHOUT JUDGMENT OR RESERVE!
Like I said, I won't elaborate. But I'm learning, it's never too late to follow your dreams.
As I watch my new favorite show "Blood, Sweat and Heels," I realize these women are DRIVEN and their lives have PURPOSE! They've all made me decide to make some DRASTIC CHANGES in my life. I have no clue where to begin, but I am PRAYING GOD WILL LEAD THE WAY and DIRECT MY PATH! It's time to MOVE UP and OUT...AWAY FROM MEDIOCRITY and EVERYDAY PEOPLE.
I know I'm going to OFFEND many people in the QUEST TO FOLLOW MY DREAMS. I should have done this a long time ago, instead of trying to "KEEP IT REAL!" I know one thing is for sure, I wouldn't have such a long BUCKET LIST, if I had REMOVED myself from the people I called my "FRIENDS!"
Change is on the way, and I am praying to GOD he will GUIDE ME TO WHERE HE WANTS ME TO BE! Because I am TIRED OF LIVING A LIFE OF MEDIOCRITY...
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